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Wednesday, July 30

Things To Do

I have 2 major crises with which I should have dealt head on & with full force today. I am, however, a Classic Libra (with Leo rising). So I wrote a song instead ::


[It's actually a heavily made-over version of something I wrote for Tyler some time ago - hey, if you can't rip-off yourself, who can you plagiarize?]

Tuesday, July 29

Play It Again, Sean

A bitchier mix - for a bitchier me ::

Whatever(Do-As-I-Say Mix).mp3

Monday, July 28

Savage Beast

I wrote this today after becoming tired of myself ::



Sunday, July 27

Pro Life

2 good reasons to keep on living ::

I'm sure there's a reasonable, karmic explanation of why things just got so shitty, so quickly....but you know what? I don't really care.

Besides - my friends are waiting....

Friday, July 25

Family & Friends & Work - Oh My..

The ties that bind - sometimes choke. Unplanned Lessons in Life, that I've learned over the past week ::

:: Contracts - are in the eye of the beholder. And you're not the beholder.
:: Love - is a nice idea, on paper. However - did all those trees really have to die?
:: Truth - is better to give than to receive. Just make sure to wrap it nicely.
:: Loyalty - sorry, but "there is no guest list tonight..."
:: Blood - may be thicker than water; but water, on the other hand, won't leave a stain.
:: On A Clear Day - you can see forever. And ever...and ever...
:: To err is.. - altogether too human. At this point, I'd rather hang with the goats.
:: But to forgive is.. - necessary, unfortunately. I mean - we exist, basically, to absolve each other of everything, right? God, btw, is a Nihilist - and there's nothing you can do about it.

Where's the 12 step program for People Problems?

Thursday, July 24

Today's Affirmation

To "All & Sundry", I think you know who & what this is about::

"Be who you are" = Drop a tab & listen to this while repeating gently to yourself; call me in the morning.

Or whenever.

Wednesday, July 23

[Reposting, Cont'd....]

Links, for Christ's Sake. Because this is alledgedly a blog ::

:: Cool Music Site, from Germany.
:: Blogging Site, devoted to Drama.
:: Yiddish-English Lexicon Site, because you should know, already.
:: Caesarian Site, from the past.
:: Edie Site, because I went to school with her hunky cousin, Rob.
:: Canadian In Japan Site, from Japan.
:: Dirty Gossip Site, from some sewer.
:: Dirty Gossip Site, with pics, from London.
:: Cat Site, from Feline Hell.
:: Cat Site, from the former club, Mother (you remember the pool table in the basement, right?)
:: Beautiful New York Photo Site, from New York.
:: Corporate Booze Site, 'cept it's good.
:: Dowager Drag Queen's Site, from Mars.
:: PR Maven-to-Hitler's site - no shit.
:: Historical Site, with pics
:: Snazzy Internet Radio Guide Site, from London
:: High Brow/Low Brow Publisher's Site - sign up for the FREE magazine.

That should suffice.

Tuesday, July 22

[When In Doubt - Repost.....]

Here's a fetching sketch of the century's bitchiest mal-vivant, Dorothy Parker ::

She spent much of her under-utilized time at this no-other-reason-to-be-famous hotel drinking and coming up with perfectly awful things to say about people. Kind of like blogging.

Anyways - here are some choice Parker Potshots (from various sources which are easily Googled) ::

"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat
and a few friends."

"Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."

"Are you Dorothy Parker?" a guest at a party inquired.
"Yes, do you mind?"

"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."

Young Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy: "Funny, your mother could."

"His body has gone to his head."

In 1925, Harold Ross was struggling to keep The New Yorker
magazine alive with a tiny, inexperienced staff and an
office with one typewriter. Running into Dorothy, Ross said,
"I thought you were coming into the office to write a piece
last week. What happened?"
Dorothy replied, "Somebody was using the pencil."

"Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough."

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism."

"I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true."

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

In the street once Dorothy approached a taxi.
"I'm engaged," the cabbie said.
"Then be happy," she told him.

"Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion"

And finally, her quote of quotes ::

"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

Thank God for the hyperbolically witty - they make posting so easy.

Sunday, July 20

So Gone

More like "So Bored" (sorry, Monica)....so here I am, ensconced at my Aunt's, tending to her chronically incontinent Great Dane, Thad. Neither Danish nor particularly great, Thad evidently never grasped the notion that there are certain things which dogs - especially very large dogs - should only do outdoors. Thank God for Playtex Living Gloves.

And we'll just leave it at that - ok?

Anyways, today, while searching her house, I discovered that my Aunt seems to have inherited the bulk of my late, great, gastronomically formidable Bubby's recipe collection....except - I never knew Bubby had a recipe collection; it was lore in my family that Florence Bloom was able to replicate anything from her vast & highly caloric repetoire of Jewish Cuisine, completely from memory and with statistically improbable consistency, during her 80 or so years with us.

It was a little shocking - to say the least.
Like - wait 'til I tell my mother.

In the spririt of familial glasnost then, I'd thought I'd share some of the recipes for dishes which cause me, to this day, to drool autonomically whenever I think of Bubby; these have all been lifted from - get this - "Second Helpings, Please", revised edtion, Mt. Sinai Chapter #1901 - Montreal, B'nai B'rith Women of Eastern Canada.

HELZEL [this sounds positively vile - but it's delicious]


:: 1 onion, minced
:: 1 1/2 c. flour
:: 1/3 c. oil (part cut-up raw chicken fat
:: 1/4 tsp. paprika
:: 1/4 dry mustard
:: 1/4 garlic salt
:: salt & pepper, to taste


:: skin from neck and drumsticks of a 5 - 6 lb. chicken

Combine all ingredients for filling and mix well. This should be very moist. Clean skin from neck and drumsticks well. Sew up on 3 sdies, fill with flour mixture, and sew up last side. Cut up 2 onions and place in bottom of roaster.. Add 1/2 cup water, and the stuffed neck and drumsticks. Roast at 350 for about 4 [! !] hours.

SOUR CREAM - CHEESE PANCAKES [these are NOT blintzes, btw]

:: 1/2 dry cottage cheese [use 'farmer's cheese']
:: 1/2 c. sour cream
:: 3 eggs, beaten
:: salt, pepper and sugar, to taste
:: 3/4 c. flour
:: 1/8 tsp. baking powder
:: butter for frying

Blend cheese and sour cream. Add eggs and seasoning. Sift dry ingredients together and add to batter. If batter is too thick, add a little water. Drop by spoonfuls onto preheated skillet which has been greased with [tons of] butter. Brown on both sides. [ok - the recipe doesn't mention this - but shmear the pancakes with really good apricot or raspberry preserves; * o-h * m-y * g-o-d.]

CRISPY HONEY CHICKEN [ok - every Jew knows this one, it's true - but I kinda thought Bubby invented it..]

:: 3 1/2 chicken, cut in 8ths (sic)
:: 1/4 c. oil
:: 1/2 c. seasoned Ritz cracker crumbs
:: 1/2 c. honey

Dip chicken in oil, then in crumbs. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Brush with honey. Bake 30 minutes longer, or until tender.

....."Eat, please - now don't be shy".....

Friday, July 18

Pre-emptive Post

I'm all about a good defense today ::

:: Should there be any mention of my alledged age located here over the next few days, please rest assured that the author - a Southern Sagittarius - has been using aluminum cookware for most of his life, and is, therefore, a bit touched. Kindly subtract 10 years.

:: Even though I maintain controlling interest in this concern, it by no means indicates that I actually use their services...I just happen to have the same stockbroker as Jocelyn de Wildenstein.

:: I voluntarily gave up my driver's license...it had nothing to do with recent events.

:: Please - thanks but no thanks.

:: Obviously, I'm not using a wheelchair if I'm going here (ramps aren't even mentioned + Montreal is notable for it's many inclines)

:: Hey - you never know, ok?

Love is never having to dim the lights.

Thursday, July 17

The Sweet Hereafter

I'm dead. (body found by Jonno)

Wednesday, July 16

What My World Needs Now

My Favourite Superheroes have been re-released.

Tuesday, July 15

Funny, Funny....

"I look like I got off an airplane from Asia, right after it crashed"

Monday, July 14

When In Ottawa, Do As the Tulips Do...

Like most capitals, this pleasant, rather pasteurized city offers to its guests a distinctly finite number of recreational pursuits. These usually involve gawking, shopping, picture taking, and, of course, maintaining consciousness.

There are, however, other things to do here, listed as follows ::

:: Go see the, uh, house which the owner of Corel Software and his fraudulently blonde wife built for themselves in Rockcliffe. Enitirely sheathed in highly reflective copper mirrored glass & boasting an underground garage for 40 vehicles, this palace a la Fischer Price of reminds us that the rich are different, often in appalling ways. Potentates who live in glass houses - should hire architects.

:: Go to Surface, this straight-techno-dance-depot. Buy your e from the girl at the register. Nod at the DJ, Marc Anthony. Dance in front of astonished totally straight Ottawa boys. Maintain eye-contact with cute, receptive marginally straight Hull boys. Plan another trip - to Montreal.

:: Eat French Fries - from any of the 1300 fry trucks which clog the city's arteries (get it?) - but forget about even thinking of deploying mayo anywhere near des frites - you'll be reprimanded.

:: Age. There are a lot of old folks here, and condos for sale, apparently, in which for them to deteriorate.

:: Avoid the two Bad Gay Bar franchise holders for this city, IKON ( remove the last 2 letters) and AWOL ( exactly). Not unless you really want to gyrate to Playpen remixes of Usher.

:: Visit me. Please. I'm here until the 27th.

Thursday, July 10

And Before I go...

Here's a little Bon Voyage ditty ::


Ok. That's it. Gotta go. I'm one of those people who actually misses planes.

Loose Ends

Nightlife denizens with blogs ::

Miss Understood
Zazoo & Sartori

I'm off to Ottawa for a while, to attend to my Aunt's Great Dane, and then to New York, to attend to my wanderlust needs - posting, such as it is, will be sporadic & pictureless.

I'm sure you'll survive.

Wednesday, July 9

Here We Go

The Bitch is Back in her full reeking glory.

Tuesday, July 8

Tuesday Music

Here's another version of something I wrote a little while ago ::

NotMe(Berlin mix)

This would be Full On Avoidance Mode.

Monday, July 7

Monday Music

I wrote this tune last night as a way to avoid thinking about what I'm supposed to do, career-wise, for the rest of my life ::


To lotteries.

Sunday, July 6

"Lorem Ipsum Dolor Sit Amet"

A fascinating bit of trivia from, of all places, Microsoft's Knowledge Base ::

"Although the phrase is nonsense, it does have a long history. The phrase has been used for several centuries by typographers to show the most distinctive features of their fonts. It is used because the letters involved and the letter spacing in those combinations reveal, at their best, the weight, design, and other important features of the typeface.

A 1994 issue of "Before & After" magazine traces "Lorem ipsum ..." to a jumbled Latin version of a passage from de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum, a treatise on the theory of ethics written by Cicero in 45 B.C. The passage "Lorem ipsum ..." is taken from text that reads, "Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit ...," which translates as, "There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain...."

During the 1500s, a printer adapted Cicero's text to develop a page of type samples. Since then, the Latin-like text has been the printing industry's standard for fake, or dummy, text. Before electronic publishing, graphic designers had to mock up layouts by drawing in squiggled lines to indicate text. The advent of self-adhesive sheets preprinted with "Lorem ipsum" gave a more realistic way to indicate where text would go on a page."

Behold the geek that lies within.

Thursday, July 3

Nothing To Say

All talked out....so here's a dub version of a song I wrote last year for this mensch ::


Tuesday, July 1

Humble Pride

brave & beautiful

Pride caught me sideways, this year. And in a good way. Here are the highlights -

:: Accompanying an extraordinary friend of mine through his first pride ever. Which prompted me to remember how much bravery is still required for those who are essentially alone, when they Come Out. And how beautiful that is. And to realize how valuable - or rather, invaluable - all your Old Gay War Stories can be to those who are just getting their feet wet. And to recall how satisfying it is to explain ( the raison d'etre of Dykes On Bikes), to point out ( Jer, skating gracefully down Yonge Street half naked), and to affirm ( the normalcy of public weeping when the PFLAG float appears). And that we often underestimate how much we are admired and loved by people close to us - at our own peril.

:: Coming to the conclusion that Peter Rauhofer is a God. And I don't even like trance.

:: Running into a long-ago ex during a raging beer garden dance melee, bursting into (messy) tears, recovering (I have no idea how), and maintaining a extremely pleasant, if choppy, conversation. Finally, I can bid farewell to that irritating Being-In-Certain-Places-At-Certain-Times agoraphobia.

:: Setting behavourial & social limits with a few who have none. And the sky didn't collapse...now, just imagine that!!

:: Receiving a big wet kiss from an elder lesbian at Unity after she witnessed me bugging-out to a particularly fierce set by Tracey Young. Call me shallow - but it's always nice to receive compliments on one's dancing...don't front - you know it's true.

At last - a Pride that made sense.