Our Adoption Story:  A Gift from Heaven
Author Linda Crabtree
Magazine CMT...Today

When Eric Bordeleau met Lucie Lacasse in 1993 at a youth group conference in Ontario, Canada little did they know they would be taking a journey of the heart together that would eventually see them as a family.

Eric, now 35 and Lucie,31, both have disabilities. Eric has CMT and is retired because of his disability from his work in the accounting department of the Federal Department of Fisheries and Oceans. Lucie has a neuromuscular disorder called myopathy minicore/multicore and works three days at the office and one at home as assistant to the appointment co-ordinator for the Federal Department. The couple live in Gatineau, Quebec which is on the border of Ontario very near Ottawa. They have been married for six years.

Eric had always wanted a family but Lucie, because of her disability which causes scoliosis and muscle weakness, thought it best not to risk it, so they went to a genetic counsellor to see what she knew.

"Because Eric has an inherited disease and I do too, we were told we have one chance out of four of having a healthy child. We decided it was too risky to have a baby of our own, but we were also afraid that the social services workers who would have to approve us for adoption would turn us down because of our disabilities. Fortunately, we got a social worker who had worked with disabled people before and she approved us. We really believe in our rights to have the privilege to adopt. We founded the Canadian Muscular Dystrophy Association Outaouais Chapter in 1996 and when it comes to the question of rights of people with disabilities, we'll fight," Lucie said.

Fortunately, they didn't have to fight. With the social worker's approval and letters from their doctors they went to an agency in Montreal in November of 2000 who had said they had children available in India, and the journey began.

"They asked us for $7,500 U.S. up front, which worked out to $11,500 Canadian. We wanted a child between two and four years of age so it would be easier to look after and they said they had some in India right now. We thought, 'Oh, my God, right now, this is good'. They even sent us a picture of a lovely little girl, Soniya," Lucie said. But, this was not to be. To make a long, complicated heart-wrenching story short, the people involved with the agency who ran the orphanages in India were eventually charged with child trafficking. We were victims of a horrible scam and everything fell apart. Needless to say, our hearts were broken.

"We lost $15,000 on that and Soniya is still there in an orphanage."

In September of last year, somewhat poorer but a lot wiser, they closed the file on Soniya because they had to if they wanted to go elsewhere to find a child that was ready for adoption, and they changed agencies.

"This time we went to Formons une Famille in Montreal and we knew what questions to ask. We also had some friends who had adopted there and we met their little boy from Cambodia who was 18 months old when they got him.

"This agency didn't want any money up front. Our file went to Cambodia the end of September of last year. We had to wait a month and there were supposed to be four steps we'd go through. The first was to be checked as parents by the foreign affairs office of Cambodia. Finally, we received good news. On December 2, we were accepted, and a proposition came that same day. They sent us a picture by Express Post of a little boy named Phanith who would turn 3, March 10, 2003. Eric called me at work all excited, 'The mailman just brought me a baby!' Eric liked the look of him and tears of joy fell on our cheeks."

On March 9, 2003, Eric and Lucie went to Dorval Airport near Montreal to meet their son for the first time and take him home.

"We both got lost at the airport," Lucie said, "the man from the agency was looking for us and we were looking for him. I had seen a man hurry by us with a child but thought it couldn't be him, but then later I saw the slippers I had sent to Phanith dangling from a pair of small feet under the man's arms. I knew it was him. I said to Eric, 'That is my child... this is our kid!' We stopped the man and he put Phanith down on the floor. He had just woken up and we gave him a cookie, bundled him up in our arms, and he slept all the way home."

Phanith has been given a name more suitable for a Canadian child, Alexis, and the 'is' is pronounced like a long e. His middle name is now Phanith to honour his place of birth. He also speaks only Khmers so both Eric and Lucie, who has taken eight months leave of absence to get to know her new son, is trying to learn Khmers from the internet as well as teach Alexis French with some English thrown in, but there is a lot of gesturing done, too. This is going to be one multilingual young man when he grows up, guaranteed.

"We feel really lucky and really happy that we didn't give up," Lucie said. "It was hard to close the file on Soniya becasue she will always have a special place in our heart but the two adoption procedures were like night and day. Everything regarding the Cambodian adoption was done in Quebec and it was all very open. Also, there are many disabled people in Cambodia because of war and land mines so I think they understand people living with a disability.

"We have a whole new life now and we are really happy. Alexis had been in a crib a lot in the orphanage and hadn't received a lot of stimulation so his muscles were weak In the short time we've had him he's learned to climb the five steps into the house so Eric doesn't have to lift him. Everything is new to him. He touches everything...the TV, snow, even boots are strange things to him. He's laughing a lot and is very charming. I've heard hard stories about the first few weeks adjusting to a new home but he seems to know it's good here.

"We both like a challenge and this will be just that. Sometimes we wondered why the first adoption didn't work out but now we know. Alexis is a survivor who’s destiny was to become our precious son. He spent 32 hours coming to us, from Cambodia to Hong Kong, to Vancouver, to Toronto and then Montreal. He came halfway around the world to a new home and us and it is right. He is the light in our lives," proud mother Lucie said, with a smile in her voice. We wish them well.

***A very special thank you to Linda Crabtree for giving us permission to reprint her wonderful article.  Her generosity and kindness is deeply appreciated.

***A very special thank you to Lucie & Eric for sharing their inspiring and heartwarming story with us.  Congratulations to Mommy & Daddy, and, Alexis, too!  He's a very lucky little boy to have such terrific parents!

If you find any broken links or non-working email addresses, please email me at famadio@cogeco.ca