Don't Grow Old!

The Advice


John C. Clarke


Elizabeth G. MacDonald

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Every morning I ask,

"What day is it?"

When they tell me I respond with great astonishment,

"All Day?!"

I always get them laughing.

I enjoy starting the day with a smile.


I like it here.

They take good care of me.

"Don't grow old,

but if you must grow old,

have a daughter to take care of you."



I lost my last tooth sometime ago, 

but I forget when.

I wish I could eat steak.

"Oh Gawd . . . 

take away my balls and give me back my teeth!"


They tell me that I broke my hip,

but I don't remember.

I can tell when it is going to rain . . .

my hip hurts.

"Hobble . . . Hobble . . .

Hobble . . . Hobble . . . "




I don't really like needles. 

But I have to show them I am strong.

"Do you have to be pretty to get this job?"


"Tie me kangaroo down sport. . ."

I'm proud to be an Aussie! 

I traded with an Aussie scout for this hat.

"Here comes Clarke" 

they'd say, when they saw the hat.

I knew how to make those boys into men!



"You have to have a hobby."

I knew men who didn't have a hobby . . .

They died.

"You have to have a hobby."


"You have to have a hobby."

This is my "n" scale coal mine. I modified the kit by adding buildings made of tooth picks. The water tower is toothpicks and aluminum foil. The tool sheds are mine too. Lace makes a good guard rail, just paint it silver.

"You have to have a hobby."


Family is important.

The boy scouts were family.

I organized over 20 units. 

They gave me a bronze statue for every 10 units.

I haven't seen any of the boys lately.


I like it here.

They take good care of me.

I have Pookie, my Chihuahua.

She keeps me company.

I watch science and nature programs on cable T.V. I like to read westerns, science fiction and model railroad magazines.

"You have to have a hobby, you know."Next

"You don't mind if I put on my pajamas,
do you?"

"You don't mind if I go to bed,
do you?"

"Goodnight dear."

"Thank you."



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c 1999, E.G. MacDonald